


Screw Physics, it's Vibranium

by CheyanneChika



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Sledding, Wade Wilson Steals Steve Rogers' Shield, based on art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 12:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Peter likes to break rules too, sometimes, and when Wade steals Cap's shield, well, they're both willing to take it for a spin.





	Screw Physics, it's Vibranium

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a print called “The Winter Soldier” by Dimitri Walker that my dad gave me for my birthday that I love to death and needed to write fic about.

Art can be found [here](https://www.facebook.com/DimitriPaintings/photos/a.1007168979297040.1073741849.271482599532352/1138488126165124/?type=3&theater%20)

The only, _only_ reason Peter knew about this was because he followed Wade’s Tumblr, which he was looking at in the early dawn light from his window.  He suspected that Wade was hoping none of the other people (read: Avengers!) that had gotten dragged along on this excursion would hear until it was too late, with the possible exception of Tony Stark, who would probably encourage him and definitely not blab until Steve asked/noticed something was wrong. 

Could the vibranium shield get dinged up?  Science said no, but science had never really gotten along with Wade Wilson.

They were all at a ski resort in New Jersey—something Peter really hadn’t known existed on the east coast, let alone in _New Jersey_ —for a “bonding session.”

Deadpool had not been invited.  Given the lowkey nature of the plan, not even the media knew until they were already on the slopes the first day, Deadpool in all his spandex glory, ready and waiting for them in the lodge Steve had chosen, had been a bit of a shock to the others.

Peter had just shrugged.  Wade was around all the time now, he shouldn’t expect to get away just by leaving Queens.

This though…this was a monumentally bad idea.

This was so so so bad.

So why was he trying so hard not to laugh?

He sighed.  If they were caught, he could always throw Wade under the bus and say he was there to reason with the reformed mercenary.

He sighed loudly, fighting a grin, and zipped up his ski jacket.  He had to get to the top of the mountain fast.

It turned out that the webbing was faster than the ski lift and he beat Deadpool there.  Wade was still about fifty feet from the top and Peter could hear him chattering to himself or the voices in his head as he got closer, clutching his prize, a black, overstuffed and oddly shaped gym bag.

When he landed on his booted feet, Wade’s face fell under the mask at the sight of Spiderman, arms crossed, his own booted foot tapping.  “Steve’s gonna be maaaa-aaad,” Peter sing-songed.

Wade hung his head and slouched over.  “It’s not fair.  Ya can’t let me use it just once?”

Peter knew he should be responsible and take Wade back to the lodge and put back his new toy before anyone knew it was gone but…but he was a still a teenager and besides, all the grownups were here to be all responsible and stuff.  He let his arms uncross and grinned up at the taller man, making it as obvious as possible through the mask.  “Only if you let me go next.”

The features behind Deadpool’s mask twisted into a smile and he held out his prize with a flourish.  Peter stepped closer and unzipped the bag, only struggling a moment at the thickest part.  Red, white and blue gleamed.

The gym bag hit the ground as they ran for the edge of the tallest slope on the mountain.  With a whoop, Wade leapt into the air and landed, cross-legged on the shield as it hit the snow, face down and he shot forward.

Spiderman was just behind him, catching and pulling on trees to go faster, racing Wade down the slope.  When the circular sled started slowly rotating, Wade drew out a katana to steer like a he would with a ski pole, guiding him forward again.  Then he thought spinning might be fun.

Peter got far ahead in the air and when he reached the bottom, nearly frozen from the cold air whipping through his mask at high speeds, he turned to see Wade still up on the hill, now spinning like a madman on the rotating shield as it moved gamely downhill at high speed.  When the ground leveled out, he should have slowed.

But this was a sled made of vibranium and what were physics compared to vibranium…or Deadpool, for that matter?

Wade only stopped when he and the shield plowed into the storage shack at the bottom of the hill with a sickening thunk of broken planks and bones.

Peter hurried over.  “Are you okay?” he asked, pulled Wade away from the wreckage.

“I think I broke my face,” Wade slurred.  “Can you check to see if it’s still pretty?”

“More like concussed, you never let me see anything above your mouth,” Peter joked, reaching for the mask.

“That’s right.  Not so pretty anymore.”  He raised an arm with a clearly broken wrist to bat Peter’s hand away from his face.

“Wade,” Pater started but Wade cut him off.

“You’re turn, Petey-pie,” he said.  “I’ll be here, waiting on the healing factor to kick in.”

“I should take—“

“No! It won’t take long for the others to notice or for Captain America to get back from his jog.  Go!”

Peter hesitated a second longer but when he heard the snap of Wade’s wrist fall into place again, he said around a shudder, “Fine.  I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be watching you.”  Peter thought there was probably supposed to be a leer in that but it just came out breathy and pained.  “I wanna watch.  Don’t do the spinning thing though.  And here,” he held out the katana he still held in the unbroken wrist, “for steering.”

“Yeah, no.  I have webshooters.” With that, Peter slung the shield onto his back on launched back up the mountain, trying not to let guilt for leaving Wade behind eat at him.  It would only be another minute and he’d be back at the bottom.  He looked down, seeing the damaged shed and a splash of red and black that waved at him from below.  He sat and then realized that the shoulder straps could, awkwardly, hold one of his feet.  A slow smile spread across his lips.  He sat, careful to hook a leg through one of the straps and shoved off.

It was, by far, the smoothest sled ride he’d ever experienced.  He may as well have been slinging weightless through the air.  He enjoyed it for a few seconds before remembering the Avengers would likely kill him and Wade and he had to test his idea.  He felt rotation start as the shield turned and he had to quickly target a tree in the middle of the slope.  He shot a web and hit the tree he zoomed past.  The web caught, and using forward momentum and the starting rotation, Peter swung in a huge arc, whipping back up around the tree in a circle, the shield only just clinging to his foot.  He whooped as he landed again and immediately reached for another tree.  on the third and final tree, he could hear Wade’s wild laughter as he whipped through the air one last time, unhooked his leg and let the shield fly while he landed in a forward tumble to land on his feet in front of a vigorously applauding Deadpool.

Peter bowed and looked toward where the shield had landed—

—All of three feet in front of Steve Rogers.

“Shit,” Peter whispered.

“Steve’s gonna be mad!” Wade mimicked from the ground.

“Peter?” Steve asked with all the power of the American flag behind him.

Peter gawped for a second before wailing, “Wade did it first!”

Wade made a noise of faux-disgust while Steve continued to look unamused.  Peter sighed and went over to pick up the shield.  He held it out but a blur of motion zipped between them with a “Me next!” and the shield was gone and Tony Stark, with Iron Man boots and skiing garb only, was flying up the slope, glee evident on his face.

Steve gave up.

 


End file.
